Andy and I were able to attend a Lifeway Festival of Marriage this past weekend. It was so nice to get away and actually *gasp* get to converse with my husband! Brandon and Jen Hatmaker were a couple of the speakers at the conference. Jen, you'll remember (I'm sure!) is the author of 7. While I was tempted to chunk the book her direction, I gathered myself and instead asked her to sign it. I also acted a bit stalkerish and got a picture with her. I like her.
The Hatmakers first did a general session about the way God moved them both in a certain direction and on how to follow Christ, not just as individuals, but also as a couple. And how to lead your family that way. Their breakout session that followed was spectacular: Marriage + Adoption. Right up our alley. For those reading this who don't know, Andy and I felt the call to adopt shortly after we got married. We heard and committed to that call, but we were still in college. Then Andy went to graduate school. Before he graduated with his Master's, we had Elisabeth. To make a long story very short, 9 years of marriage, a kindergartner, and a hysterectomy later, we have taken steps to be ready to answer this calling. About a year and a half ago, we missed an opportunity to provide a home for a little girl who went straight from birth at the hospital into DHS custody. We decided then in order for us to be ready at any point, we needed to open our home through DHS. Funny, actually, because I ALWAYS said I wouldn't go through the state. You know what they say about never saying never... At any rate, our home officially opened for adoption in early August.
Some interesting things came out of the Hatmakers' breakout.
1) We don't want to limit God in how He wants to use our family to provide a home for children who need one. International, private, state - we are game for any avenue He chooses to use.
2) As we broaden our horizons overall, we also need to broaden our DHS terms. I emailed our social worker last night and increased our maximum age by 18 months. (As a side note, we did talk with Elisabeth about it before we contacted our SW. This is a family deal.)
3) The concept of orphan prevention - something that had never crossed my mind. I get so caught up in my own perspective, I sometimes forget that I don't see the whole picture. Many children are "orphaned" (without parents) not because their parents are dead or don't want them, but because they can't take care of them. I can't even begin to comprehend having to choose to keep a child in my home, knowing I can not feed or clothe her, or to send her to an orphanage where I won't get to be with her but I know she's cared for. An awful, inconceivable choice. Despite my blindness to this problem, it happens. A lot. And before we all go put on our self righteous hats, these parents more than likely aren't lazy. There is no work. Or they aren't being paid fairly for their work. So what can I do? I live in Arkansas. I am far removed from this issue. Or am I? I think not as far as I would like to hope. It's in our country, too. But what can I do?
While we were at the conference, we picked up a Compassion International packet. We are now supporting a little girl in India. She lives with her mother and father; her father works when work is available and her mother takes care of things at home. A measly $38 a month will ensure she has food, clothing, education and chance to hear the Gospel. And it means she will be able to live with her parents. There are companies like Noonday and Land of 1000 Hills that provide women work and fair wages. And dignity. Despite what we may think, there ARE things we can do. It might take a little research. It might cost a little (maybe a lot). But we can be part of the solution.
Jen said there are seven Christians for every one orphan. This is sad and embarrassing. But adoption is only half of the answer. It catches the problem on the back end; let's stay back there but stretch to the front. Let's work to alleviate the problem. Be a mentor for teen moms. Seek out companies that pay fair wages. Support a Compassion International child. Be Jesus to the least - on the mission field AND in our own backyard. Radical? Maybe. Worthwhile? Absolutely.
This is what I desire: Please, Jesus - soften my heart, open my eyes, and use me.
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